So it's 2.30 in the morning on a Friday night and I am painfully reminded of why I don't drink any more. Yup, a mixture of heartburn and being sat for the last hour listening to Stuart snore has forced me to leave my bed in search of something to watch on Netflix. At least I'm not working tomorrow. To add insult to injury I thought it was a good idea to eat a chinese about 2 minutes before I fell asleep with the heating on so the heartburn has a black bean sauce flavour to it and I'm also nice and sweaty. Delish. I thought I'd use this time to catch up with you seeing as it's been a while. I've had a few slow weeks creatively but to my credit I have also been planning my next step. Seeing as it's coming to the end of the year I have started reviewing my goals and the things I wanted to achieve this year and I have to be honest I am no where near where I wanted to be. I know this might sound harsh on myself but half of the things I set out to do I haven't even started and I won't even remotely have the time to catch up before the year is out. It's not as if I haven't had the time to do it it's just that something has been fundamentally missing from my art for a long time and I think I've finally figured out what it is.
When it comes to my spiritual work, my day job, I am able to find this almost relentless dedication to getting things done. I am able to work smart, work hard and focus in a way that makes sure I bring what is needed to the plate. When it comes to my creative work and making it work for me in the way I want it to, I am all over the place in a way that is completely uncharacteristic and now, I think I know why. It's all about service. I am by nature a service orientated person. I like to help, heal, uplift those around me and I want that energy to be embued into my creative work. The nucleus of it is there already but the application of it has failed. I need to dig deeper, reach out more and provide myself with new ways to connect with you and everyone who likes what I do creatively. I am gathering, researching and planning new ways to do that. I will definitely be sharing more art, I will definitely be upping my blog game and I also think I will be changing the platform by which I share all of this with you. I will still blog and do the bulk of it through the website but the nature of it needs to change. It's no longer enough to keep it all about me. You are all in my heart so it needs to be there for you too.
This blog might not be making any sense at all right now and it might be the heartburn talking but I'm just giving you a heads up about some ideas I'm playing with. I don't know exactly what's going to change, I'm still figuring that out but I do know where I think I've been going wrong and now. I'll keep you posted!
Ryan James x