Is self invention a good thing?
I remember for years the absolute craziness of living for that ever elusive “them”. Preparing my work for an audience that at the time didn't exist. Gearing my words, my art and my music based on a self invented assumption of what I thought others wanted. Then there entered a moment in my life that changed everything. I realised, without any bitterness, self deprecation or narcissism, that nobody really gives a shit. Most are way too busy dealing with their own stuff.
I realised that the external “fan base” I had created in my head was completely self invented.
I, like so many, had fallen into the trap of fame seeking through my art. It left me feeling hollow and empty and to be honest ran my mind and body into the ground. Then, one bright learning curve entered my life and I woke up. I took the time to re learn my art, re learn what kind of artist I wanted to be. My art is now a bridge for connection. A vessel for expression. The idea of “fans” freaks me out. These days I would rather make friends. I have a new tour coming up and I can hand on heart say, I am equally as excited about meeting and making new friends as I am about sharing my new songs and work. I have never been this balanced in my approach to creativity.
Of course I see around me a lot of people where I was. I think creating a fan base in your head is self soothing for a time when you want to share your art with the world and it isn't being received in the way you thought or hoped it would. This doesn't mean that you're art isn't doing what it's supposed to do. You are still helping, still inspiring and more importantly, creating your own authenticity. Maybe instead of self inventing, you self reinvent? Instead of creating an idea around something that isn't there you realise the preciousness and magnitude of what is.
Respect your journey but love the moment.