I can almost feel each of my vertebrae click as I stretch my spine back into place. My neck has decided that it hates me and for some reason I am now squinting at the page I am looking at. I swear no matter how many desks or “creative environments” I set up in my home I end up the same way. On the floor, covered in pencil shavings and drips of paint, lurched over a canvas. I hate standing up to paint and I also am not a giant fan of filming the painting process, mainly because I practically climb over the canvas when I'm creating and no one wants to see a speed paint mainly consisting of the back of my head. That's probably why I've not finished the speed paint that is currently eye balling me from my room. Guys, I don't know where my head has been lately creatively. This year was supposed to be all about getting my focus together and creating, seeing how far I could push myself and finally wrapping up the projects that have been hanging around the back of my mind for ages. I did O.K in January and then half way through Feb I just hit a slump that I am only now coming out of. I haven't thought this negatively about my work since I was a teenager. Seriously!
In my defense and in an effort to be gentle with myself I have had a little grief to contend with, a few weeks where my day job was particularly tough and a few migraines to top that off but mostly I allowed my negative self talk to keep me away from creating. It's thrown me a little. BUT... today I have started to feel a little like my old self again. I've taken to taking my dog on 2 hour walks a day and that time with the trees has helped me to realign with myself. I know I am not all the way there but now feels like the right time to start diving back into and catching up with all the creative work that I have let slide. I have no real excuses other than not catching my inner critic in time. It's strange how much that bugger can sneak up on you and of course my creativity is the first thing I attack because it's the first thing that allows me the room to self actualise. Art is my meditation. Always has been. When I stop making things around me tend to go a little nuts and I just don't feel right. So, back to the drawing board! Literally! I have so many pieces I want to get done and I know I shouldn't say it but I am praying for a rainy weekend so that I can sit my bum down and get covered in acrylic! Did that sound pervy? Ah well! Lol
Thank you for reading!
Ryan James x